What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
