so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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