last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
