What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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