If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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