Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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