I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
