I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
