all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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