You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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