Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize