i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
