i already hear my dad disowning me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
you made out with another girl for some wings
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
