Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
