I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
