Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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