Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
