i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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