too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
