I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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