tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
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id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
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Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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