just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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