In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
