shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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