whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
