Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize