this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
