I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm getting married
To pizza
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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