If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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