Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
