what day is it and did you see me today?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
