i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
