There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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