we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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