at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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