Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
