You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
