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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
