He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
