this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
