I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
