My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize