He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
