Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
