I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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