Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
