We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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