Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize
