I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
