this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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