Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
