She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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