Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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