so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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