I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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