the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
