that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
