Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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