i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
