His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
