he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
