Your tits are I can't wait for
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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