just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
